How many of us went down the drinking path, because it was 'normal'
Fish on a Bicycle..Completely Normal
WB xx
Showing posts with label Normal Drinking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Normal Drinking. Show all posts
Sunday, 10 April 2016
Monday, 21 March 2016
Tequila Will Mend a Broken Heart, Right?
Messages from the media.....that drive me mad...
Tequila Will Mend a Broken Heart, Right?
WB xxx
Tuesday, 8 March 2016
Monday, 4 January 2016
Identifying Your Tribe - Action Notes for the Newly Sober.
You have a shit load of....well, shit to think about when you first become sober.
But it's mostly good. In fact, as time goes on, it's the small things that start to make you feel bloody marvelous, and you start to believe that YES, this SOBER SHIT IS AWESOME!!
Until........PEOPLE....start to FUCK.IT.UP.
Yes, "people", all kinds of people in your life, that you thought you knew will start to behave in all kinds of bewildering ways, and if you're not careful, will have you second guessing all the hard work you have put into this new awesome lifestyle.
So to help you.....here is a brief guide, with ACTION NOTES....to help you navigate your way through the sea of false friends and assholes, and identify the your NEW LOVING SUPPORTIVE TRIBE......
"NORMAL" DRINKERS.
These are people that you know slightly, that previously you used to ignore. This is because when you used to offer them wine in the afternoon (to legitimize your own drinking) they used to say things like
"Wine? Gosh, what are we celebrating?" or
"Wine? No thanks, just tea for me"
They also used to do strange things like not finishing a glass of wine. Leaving a half-finished bottle of wine on the table. Spend their weekends doing "non-drinking activities" like hiking, or outdoor sports, or anything tended that compromise your drinking time...so you didn't take part, even when invited.
In short, these people CONFUSED THE CRAP out of you.
ACTION NOTES.
These people, over time will become part of your new tribe. At first they will be wary of you (because they are used to being ignored), but eventually, you'll be invited to all kinds of social events that will be fun. They won't make you feel uncomfortable because you're not drinking - because they rarely drink themselves!
SUPPORTIVE FRIENDS
These are your true friends that you abandoned because of their annoying habit of Calling You On Your Bullshit.
Yes, the friends that used to say "I'm getting a bit worried about you, you texted me last night, were you drunk again?"
You ditched them, because they were FUNBUSTERS (or so you told yourself) and gradually they disappeared from your life, because you were rude, obnoxious, and self absorbed.
ACTION NOTES.
Start eating humble pie. Phone, text and email and APOLOGIZE for being a jerk. These people will be supportive and loving if you let them.
They will meet you for tea or coffee. They will check in and see how you are doing - they will be the CHEERLEADERS in your life, as you start to flourish and achieve things....without booze.
DRUNKEN IDIOTS
These people are basically annoying but harmless. They drink copious amounts, and say stuff to you like "Oh shit, are you still on the wagon?". But basically they don't care if you drink or don't drink. Because they are too drunk to give a shit.
ACTION NOTES
Basically do nothing. Just observe. That used to be you. Not pretty is it?
EVIL FREAKING ASSHOLES (EFAs)
These people are stealthy. They come disguised as friends. At first they will feign concern "Oh poor you, do you really have to give up FOR GOOD?".
They will try to test you
"Oh go on, just one won't hurt"
Then they will openly try to sabotage you......"Oh, you won't last....remember when you tried to give up chocolate, that only lasted a week, just have a drink for God's sake, don't be so fucking uptight, have some fun...."
These people have some power, IF YOU LET THEM....because they are often family members or people you regarded as friends. So it's hurtful.
There are many reasons why they behave this way:
DO NOT try to explain yourself. Do not try to "save" or "help" them. DO NOT play their games. Minimize CONTACT if they are family members, or better still ELIMINATE EFA's from your life COMPLETELY......
Very soon, you'll establish a new tribe. A new circle of positive people who love being sober and will help you love this life too. In fact, you've just started - welcome to Sober CyberWorld....
WB xx
- Strategies and activities to banish the Wine Witch at five o'clock,
- New shopping routes to buy NA beverages rather than the liquor store or the booze aisle,
- New sleep patterns
- Strange "healthy" feelings from a newly hydrated body
- No morning scramble to delete embarrassing social media posts from the night before
- No faking knowledge about the new episode of Game of Thrones because you can't remember watching it...
But it's mostly good. In fact, as time goes on, it's the small things that start to make you feel bloody marvelous, and you start to believe that YES, this SOBER SHIT IS AWESOME!!
Until........PEOPLE....start to FUCK.IT.UP.
Yes, "people", all kinds of people in your life, that you thought you knew will start to behave in all kinds of bewildering ways, and if you're not careful, will have you second guessing all the hard work you have put into this new awesome lifestyle.
So to help you.....here is a brief guide, with ACTION NOTES....to help you navigate your way through the sea of false friends and assholes, and identify the your NEW LOVING SUPPORTIVE TRIBE......
"NORMAL" DRINKERS.
These are people that you know slightly, that previously you used to ignore. This is because when you used to offer them wine in the afternoon (to legitimize your own drinking) they used to say things like
"Wine? Gosh, what are we celebrating?" or
"Wine? No thanks, just tea for me"
They also used to do strange things like not finishing a glass of wine. Leaving a half-finished bottle of wine on the table. Spend their weekends doing "non-drinking activities" like hiking, or outdoor sports, or anything tended that compromise your drinking time...so you didn't take part, even when invited.
In short, these people CONFUSED THE CRAP out of you.
ACTION NOTES.
These people, over time will become part of your new tribe. At first they will be wary of you (because they are used to being ignored), but eventually, you'll be invited to all kinds of social events that will be fun. They won't make you feel uncomfortable because you're not drinking - because they rarely drink themselves!
SUPPORTIVE FRIENDS
These are your true friends that you abandoned because of their annoying habit of Calling You On Your Bullshit.
Yes, the friends that used to say "I'm getting a bit worried about you, you texted me last night, were you drunk again?"
You ditched them, because they were FUNBUSTERS (or so you told yourself) and gradually they disappeared from your life, because you were rude, obnoxious, and self absorbed.
ACTION NOTES.
Start eating humble pie. Phone, text and email and APOLOGIZE for being a jerk. These people will be supportive and loving if you let them.
They will meet you for tea or coffee. They will check in and see how you are doing - they will be the CHEERLEADERS in your life, as you start to flourish and achieve things....without booze.
DRUNKEN IDIOTS
These people are basically annoying but harmless. They drink copious amounts, and say stuff to you like "Oh shit, are you still on the wagon?". But basically they don't care if you drink or don't drink. Because they are too drunk to give a shit.
ACTION NOTES
Basically do nothing. Just observe. That used to be you. Not pretty is it?
EVIL FREAKING ASSHOLES (EFAs)
These people are stealthy. They come disguised as friends. At first they will feign concern "Oh poor you, do you really have to give up FOR GOOD?".
They will try to test you
"Oh go on, just one won't hurt"
Then they will openly try to sabotage you......"Oh, you won't last....remember when you tried to give up chocolate, that only lasted a week, just have a drink for God's sake, don't be so fucking uptight, have some fun...."
These people have some power, IF YOU LET THEM....because they are often family members or people you regarded as friends. So it's hurtful.
There are many reasons why they behave this way:
- You shine a light on their own dysfunctional drinking
- You have stopped playing the "role" that they expect you to play
- They suffer from JEALOUSY, and dragging you back down makes them feel better
- THEY ARE JUST TOXIC ASSHOLES.
DO NOT try to explain yourself. Do not try to "save" or "help" them. DO NOT play their games. Minimize CONTACT if they are family members, or better still ELIMINATE EFA's from your life COMPLETELY......
Very soon, you'll establish a new tribe. A new circle of positive people who love being sober and will help you love this life too. In fact, you've just started - welcome to Sober CyberWorld....
WB xx
Thursday, 10 September 2015
Blame it on Jackie O
There's one thing that bothers me about this whole alcohol dependency thing.
Why me?
And yes, the obvious answer is "why not me?" Why should I be so special that I shouldn't stub my toe on a few of life's stumbling blocks....but I am fixated on "where did my Wine Bitchery come from?"
The debate (mostly in my head) goes like this :
Why am I an alcoholic? There aren't any other alcoholics in the family....that I know of ! Am I the token drunk? Does every family get one? If so, why is it me? Why not Auntie Beryl?
I really struggle with the whole "Alcoholism is Genetic" stance, because like every other "nature v nurture" debate, it raises far more questions than it answers. And for every piece of research that links alcoholism to genetic make-up, there is another study that will de-bunk the theory.
So here's my Theory.
My theory is that for me, and for many other women of my generation, drinking is normal. It's perfectly normal to pour a chilled glass of wine the minute we walk through the door in the evening, it's normal to drink wine in the afternoon with friends, it's normal to drink alone in the evening while watching the TV, when you go to your Book Club evenings, when you meet a friend after work, when you get together with other mums at a play date. It's NORMAL !!
But when did it GET normal? When was the Tipping Point?
A generation ago, it wasn't normal. My grandmother only drank a small sherry at Christmas, or at a very special celebration. My mother very rarely drank anything, until the last couple of decades, when she did take a liking to wine, and now it's perfectly normal for her to have a glass or two in the evenings. But she NEVER drinks alone, and NEVER in the afternoon.
So how did we get here?
I did some research. (I googled).
Turns out that until the 1960's, wine was considered ( In America, and by association, I include Canada and the UK) to be the drink of lowlifes. "Winos". (Or the French). It wasn't considered to be sophisticated, and as "ladies" did not drink hard liquor, or beer, there really wasn't an alcoholic beverage that was a normal option for a girl to drink!
All this changed in 1962.
The young glamorous bride of John Kennedy was disrupting the stuffy atmosphere of the White House and imprinting her own elegant style, not only on that iconic symbol of American pride, but also on the psyche of the American public, particularly the American Housewife who was trying to emulate Jackie's style and panache - her clothes, her make-up, her shoes..........and her household.
Jackie Kennedy hosted a televised tour of the White House, and during the walk through, the cameras panned round her dining table, set with beautiful cutlery and china.....and crystal wine glasses...
It was at that moment (according to Google) that WINE became fashionable. Finally a Drink for the Ladies!!
Of course it took another decade or so, and some inspired marketing for us to get here....certainly in the UK we suffered through German Liebfraumilch, Blue Nun, and Black Tower, before we grudgingly conceded that the French were good at something, and then, of course came the fruity upstarts from California.
All of that change coincided with some bra burning and Gloria Steinem, and voila - we can drink the lads under the table! Hurrah for us and our Normal Drinking!
We need another Tipping Point.
We need the elegance and style of Jackie Kennedy Onassis to disrupt the status quo again.
We need "Sober" to be fashionable.
We need Sobriety to be the new normal.
WBxx.
P.S. I have no hard feelings towards Jackie Kennedy. In fact, I was named after her. As well as no other drunkard women in my family, there are no other "Jacquelines". Apparently my mother loved Jackie's style and her name, so I got it. The name, sadly not the style.
Why me?
And yes, the obvious answer is "why not me?" Why should I be so special that I shouldn't stub my toe on a few of life's stumbling blocks....but I am fixated on "where did my Wine Bitchery come from?"
The debate (mostly in my head) goes like this :
Why am I an alcoholic? There aren't any other alcoholics in the family....that I know of ! Am I the token drunk? Does every family get one? If so, why is it me? Why not Auntie Beryl?
I really struggle with the whole "Alcoholism is Genetic" stance, because like every other "nature v nurture" debate, it raises far more questions than it answers. And for every piece of research that links alcoholism to genetic make-up, there is another study that will de-bunk the theory.
So here's my Theory.
My theory is that for me, and for many other women of my generation, drinking is normal. It's perfectly normal to pour a chilled glass of wine the minute we walk through the door in the evening, it's normal to drink wine in the afternoon with friends, it's normal to drink alone in the evening while watching the TV, when you go to your Book Club evenings, when you meet a friend after work, when you get together with other mums at a play date. It's NORMAL !!
But when did it GET normal? When was the Tipping Point?
A generation ago, it wasn't normal. My grandmother only drank a small sherry at Christmas, or at a very special celebration. My mother very rarely drank anything, until the last couple of decades, when she did take a liking to wine, and now it's perfectly normal for her to have a glass or two in the evenings. But she NEVER drinks alone, and NEVER in the afternoon.
So how did we get here?
I did some research. (I googled).
Turns out that until the 1960's, wine was considered ( In America, and by association, I include Canada and the UK) to be the drink of lowlifes. "Winos". (Or the French). It wasn't considered to be sophisticated, and as "ladies" did not drink hard liquor, or beer, there really wasn't an alcoholic beverage that was a normal option for a girl to drink!
All this changed in 1962.
The young glamorous bride of John Kennedy was disrupting the stuffy atmosphere of the White House and imprinting her own elegant style, not only on that iconic symbol of American pride, but also on the psyche of the American public, particularly the American Housewife who was trying to emulate Jackie's style and panache - her clothes, her make-up, her shoes..........and her household.
Jackie Kennedy hosted a televised tour of the White House, and during the walk through, the cameras panned round her dining table, set with beautiful cutlery and china.....and crystal wine glasses...
It was at that moment (according to Google) that WINE became fashionable. Finally a Drink for the Ladies!!
Of course it took another decade or so, and some inspired marketing for us to get here....certainly in the UK we suffered through German Liebfraumilch, Blue Nun, and Black Tower, before we grudgingly conceded that the French were good at something, and then, of course came the fruity upstarts from California.
All of that change coincided with some bra burning and Gloria Steinem, and voila - we can drink the lads under the table! Hurrah for us and our Normal Drinking!
We need another Tipping Point.
We need the elegance and style of Jackie Kennedy Onassis to disrupt the status quo again.
We need "Sober" to be fashionable.
We need Sobriety to be the new normal.
WBxx.
P.S. I have no hard feelings towards Jackie Kennedy. In fact, I was named after her. As well as no other drunkard women in my family, there are no other "Jacquelines". Apparently my mother loved Jackie's style and her name, so I got it. The name, sadly not the style.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)