Porcupines and Pumpkins.

Last summer was a gong show for me.

It seemed that we had guests staying for the ENTIRE summer, staying in our tiny house, or camping in our yard.

When they all left, I was so DONE with being a hostess, that I converted our spare bedroom to my office, and lovely it is too. (see The Fall)

This week, I got a phone call from one of last summer's guests, who "had such a lovely time, we thought we would book our holidays and visit you guys again!"

Ahh.

"Drinking Jackie" would have handled it like this...

• Agree that it was all "lovely" and YES wouldn't it be great to do it all again (while cursing inwardly)
• Slam down the phone and shout at my husband
• Pour a glass of wine
• Go on a long diatribe about HOW SELFISH other people are
• Pour another glass (or three) of wine
• Get myself into a wild temper and post an obscure "status" on fb about how UNBELIEVABLY THOUGHTLESS everyone in the world is.....

"Non Drinking Jackie" handled it thus....

• Yes it was lovely, but it was also a lot of work, and we're not sure what our plans are for the coming summer. Please don't make any arrangements yet, I give you a call back tomorrow.
• Feel quite pleased with myself.
• Obsess about it ALL day ...am I a complete Bitch to say NO? Maybe it will be different, maybe they will hate us, maybe Hubby will be mad, maybe, maybe, maybe....

 In the evening, my husband and I were watching TV, but my obsessing got too much...


"X and Y want to come down and camp in our yard, but I don't really want them to, so I'm going to say No, is that OK, am I a Bitch?"

My husband just said calmly "I agree. Say No. You're not a Bitch"

I didn't hear...

"Because it was really, really hard work, they are really nice people, but it would be better if they camped somewhere else, and we just met up to go fishing or something, not everyday because that's too much, it's just because our house is so small, and we ran completely out of water because of the strain on the well, and I just thought we could have time to ourselves next summer, that would be nice wouldn't it? ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME? Why are you looking at your phone, did they text you? Are they asking you? Are they mad with me? ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?

Husband..." Yes. you said that X and Y want to camp but you don't want them to. So you're going to say No. And I said, "I agree""

Me " Didn't you hear the rest? WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT YOUR PHONE?"

Husband "I'm watching a really cute video of a porcupine eating a pumpkin for the very first time ever...look, it's really cute...."

WB xxx

Sometimes, our "sober life" just doesn't live up to our expectations...."Sober Expectations is here"

I've been seeing some posts lately from people who are having a tough go of it, and I've got a couple of emails....this video is about my "shift" in thinking.....I hope it helps a bit.....find it here

Foodie without the Wine?

For a little over four months, the kitchen has been a "No Go Zone", unless I'm making toast or coffee.

It's been a little hard on my husband (although he loves to cook), as he has been mainly responsible for preparing dinner.

I do love to cook. But it's also an activity that I associate with wine. As I chopped, chopped, chopped, I loved to sip, sip, sip. When the recipe called for wine (and it often did, because there was an iron clad excuse to open a bottle of wine), I would use the bare minimum, and finish one bottle myself, fussing around the kitchen.....and then of course, I would need the second when we got around to eating.

Sounds sophisticated doesn't it? Sounds "normal".......Julia Child used to slurp away on TV.....why on earth would there be anything wrong with coupling fabulous food with a perfectly paired bottle of vino?

Here's what usually happened. Distracted and decidedly fuzzy from the wine drinking (which was, of course the main activity), I would omit an ingredient, forget the time, dinner would be burned, risottos would be a sludgy mess......the whole experience would resemble an edition of Hell's Kitchen.

My long suffering husband would gag down the meal, (diplomatically murmuring all the right platitudes....by this time, I was one bottle of wine in - so a wrong comment could be potentially explosive), and then he would deal with the mess in the kitchen (because I cooked, right?)

I know that the romantic memory of creating in the kitchen is just constructed in my mind - with a little help from the Wine Witch. I can (and do) relive the actual events.

But cooking is still a Major Block.

Last year, one of my only 'achievements" was to publish a short seafood cookbook. That too, wasn't my best work, and although I sold quite a few copies, and had some nice compliments - I still associate that cookbook with my wine soaked kitchen endeavours.

Last week, for the first time in ages I watched Anthony Bourdain (one of my favourite foodie shows). I got a little inspiration, and coupled with some produce from my garden (new sober activity), tonight I tried a stuffed pumpkin recipe.

It's in the oven as I type.

I poured a chilled AF beer as I worked around the kitchen. I tasted the food as I cooked, and adjusted seasoning. I actually wrote down what I was doing. The kitchen is clean. The table is set.


Maybe it's time to just get over it. 

I'll let you know after the Stuffed Pumpkin :)

WBxx