The Wine Bitch: triggers for drinking

....it's always the Liver that suffers....

This dropped into my timeline yesterday. I have no idea who to attribute this quote, but whoever it is, is a very wise person.

After reading Sober Mummy's post yesterday (read it here), I was struck that so many of our struggles are not just Drinking v Not Drinking.

And as I have had my "triggers" pushed lately too, I am reminded that addiction is just a symptom.

So many times during my life, I've made decisions with my head that didn't align with my heart.

I've stayed in relationships far too long.
I've chosen jobs and careers when they were not what I wanted to do.
I've gone along with plans, and gone down paths, even when deep in my heart, I knew it was wrong for me.

And as I got further and further away from who I really am, I got bitter, cynical and I drank to drown out that uneasiness that had become both a comfort blanket and a burden that weighed me down.

If this sounds all a bit "out there" and "bringing out my inner hippy", then be assured that self reflection doesn't sit well with me either, I've always thought it to be self absorbed, and "nonsense" ( I feel Sober Mummy nodding her head, you know what I mean don't you?)

But if this sober journey is teaching me anything, it is that my head and my heart need to be in total agreement and harmony, in order to fully protect my liver.....

Maybe that's why Christmas is such a trigger for all of us. Christmas reminds us of another time when both head and heart were in true harmony. A time when magic and love came easily, when peace on earth seemed possible, before we complicated it all.....

It sounds so glib and flippant, doesn't it? Just follow your heart......

I'm not even sure I know how to do that, but I beginning to think it might be the key.

WBxx

Friday, 20 November 2015

Triggers and Toolboxes...

One piece of advice that I read when I first quit the booze...was "avoid Triggers", meaning that I should avoid anything that prompted me, or tempted me to drink...

I understood what the advice meant of course, and consequently, I didn't have a bottle of white chilling in the fridge for example...but the advice seemed pretty lame in the early days, as it was really hard to avoid "triggers"; like the clock ticking around to Five O'clock......Every Fucking Day!

A better strategy, I found, was to develop a kind of Sober Toolbox .......to set about 'fixing" the triggers...

In my toolbox was (and still is) ...Fake Booze. This does go against much of the advice that I have read, apparently, for some people, fake booze can be a trigger in itself, but for me, it was a necessary part of my kit. I clung on to it like a hammer, ready to take a swing at the Wine Witch....

Together, with my fake wine/beer was a PROPER WINE GLASS/ BEER GLASS. Just because I have given up alcohol does not mean I have to drink out of a plastic beaker....I am not a child.
Again, not a trigger for me, it made me feel normal.

It was hard to pick a tool to "fix" Wine O'clock......

I really needed a nail gun to pin the frickin' Witch against the wall when she came calling, but I chose ACTIVITY........during the summer, no weeds stood a chance in my garden, and I have read more novels this year, than in my entire adult life. I also tried adult colouring books (they worked quite well, until my brother-in-law (an actual artist) said gently..."I can give you some lessons if you like...)

It's hard to pick tools to fix other "triggers" like social events where everyone is drinking,....sometimes I use "Lying Through My Teeth", or "Brutal Honesty", depending on my mood....

Then there's the Trigger of Accomplishment........the times when you have completed an onerous task, and you get the fleeting thought 'Oooh, I deserve wine" .......the "reward trigger".
For this one, I use CAKE...very effective!

You can pick and choose your own tools to go in your box, ( and it doesn't have to be a box, if you don't want, I saw some toolbelts in Home Depot the other day, they even have them in PINK!), but it makes good sense to have a variety of tools for different "fixes".

(I showed this post to my husband and he said (not helpfully)..." You should have duct tape to stick across your mouth if you feel like drinking..ha bloody ha....)

If you are new here, you might also like to see my post about the almost immediate improvements to your life when you quit the booze........You can Read it here

And if you like, I've dropped a new video into my new video blog about counting days.........

You can view it here

(Warning- sometimes I wear makeup, sometimes not!)

WBxx