The F Plan

Diet are a mine filed of false information and snake oil salesman. One thing that sobriety has taught me is that there are no short cuts.

The F Plan.

WB xx

An Apple a Day Keeps My Addiction Away...

Does our shitty Western diet contribute to our addictions?

An Apple A Day Keeps My Addiction Away

WB xx

Too Rich and Too Thin...

Who benefits from stereotyping? Who benefits from us drinking in vast quantities..

Too Rich and Too Thin..

WB xx

Addition, Not Elimination.

"Sober" is a word that for many of us is synonymous with "Deprivation".

 I think that is the reason why I struggled to quit the booze for such a long time. I saw my life stretching out in front of me with a big wine shaped void in it. 

Alcohol is woven into the comfort blanket of our lives from the very beginning - from "wetting the baby's head", we include drinking as the main feature of almost every milestone - romantic sun soaked evenings with Merlot, Chilled Champagne at the reception, Brandy on a winter's evening, Cold Beer when we're camping....right up to raising a glass to see us off into the afterlife.

It's no wonder that contemplating a lifetime with no alcohol can seem like a life sentence of self denial and isolation.

Diets are much like this. The new thinking around dieting, is that we don't actually "diet" (Lots of interesting information about this at http://slimhappyandeating.com if you are interested).

Have you noticed that so many diets start off with 'First eliminate sugar/fat/soda/bread.....whatever the advice of the day is, and first we start off with great intentions, but very soon we crave whatever it is that we are supposed to be eliminating?
Surely a far better approach is to focus on the good things that we add to our daily food intake?
Have that slice of chocolate cake, but why not eat a leafy salad in the evening as well?
The underlying theory is that as we notice how much better we feel when we eat the good stuff, we'll keep adding it, and eventually it will edge out the bad stuff. Without feeling that we have deprived ourselves.

In other words, a better approach is to eliminate the eliminations.

Much the same with Sobriety.

A similar approach is to focus on the good stuff, no, the great stuff that is introduced into your life, and very soon that feeling of loss and deprivation will fizzle away...here are my top Great Additions since I gave up the booze;

• Time.

When I was drinking, the day stopped at wine o'clock. Evenings were just hazy recollections of half watched TV reruns. Now, my evenings are productive if I want them to be. I have a good three hours to work, read, write, converse with my husband....and I can still watch the TV (and remember it in the morning).  I estimate that I have added about five productive hours to my day. I can also while away an afternoon just reading a good book, knowing that I have plenty of time to catch up with chores later. And most importantly, as the threat of about eight different major diseases has diminished, I have added a few more healthy years to my lifespan.

• Mornings.

I used to say 'I'm not a morning person". Translated ..."I'm hungover and feel too shitty to appreciate the morning, person".
These days, I revel in the mornings. I love the smell of coffee (which used to make my stomach flip flop), I love to sit on my porch, and just be...before the day begins. Sometimes, I plan my day, sometimes I putter in my greenhouse.....whatever I do, the day starts with a sense of calm and contentment, that filters through the subsequent hours. A good morning almost never develops into a bad day.

• Fun

Ha! You say....how is "fun' possible without a drink? Not only is it possible, but fun is..well., more fun now I can fully participate! A day at the beach, an afternoon fishing, or an evening with friends around the camp fire - all far more fun now I am not worried if I have enough wine, if I am slurring my words, or embarrassing myself. 

• Connections

 When I was drinking, I was boring and self absorbed. I rarely listened to what other people were saying, and if I did, I wouldn't remember, I took no interest in anybody else's life, because my whole being revolved around a wine glass. Now, I have real connections with people. We have real conversations. And more than that, old friends who drifted away, bored and irritated by Drunk Jackie, have reappeared in my life. And of course, there are the many connections that I have made in Sober Blog World, who support, comfort and guide me.

So there you are. Four major positive additions to my life that would not have occurred if I had still been drinking.

So, when your mind wanders to everything you think you are giving up when you quit the booze, try to focus on all that you have to gain.

And eventually you will eliminate the eliminations.

Day 49 . Is Sober the New Gluten-Free?

Anyone remember that marvelous scene in "Shirley Valentine", where she shrieks out the window, "I'm going to have sex for breakfast, sex for lunch and sex for tea...it's the BLOODY F - PLAN DIET!!"

I've just finished reading the awesome Sober Mummy's blog post today "Stop Drinking, Lose Weight?" and for some reason it reminded me of Shirley Valentine, and how she goes off to find herself, her lost youth and lost opportunities....I feel like I'm on a Shirley Valentine journey right now, only I didn't have to go to  Greek Island (sounds lovely though), I just had to put down the bottle...

Anyhoo, getting back to the vague point of today's ramblings, I had a bizarre conversation with one of my sister-in-laws yesterday ( I have mentioned her briefly before, but to catch you up in two words "complete bitch")

SIL " Glass of wine Jackie?"
ME " No thanks, water will be fine, it's so hot"
SIL 'Oh the wine's chilled"
ME "Actually I've given up drinking"
SIL "Really?"
ME "Yes"
SIL "I've given up wheat"
ME "Really?"
SIL "Yes. I think I'm gluten -intolerant"
ME "Oh dear"
SIL " Yes. No bread for me"
ME " That must be challenging, no pasta or muffins or anything then. A complete lifestyle change"
SIL. "Oh, I've only given up bread. it's just the wheat that I can't take"

Short Silence.

ME " Well that's too bad"
SIL "Yes it's hard"

Short Silence

SIL " Are you Wine- Intolerant?"
Me " Yes, I guess I am"

SIL " Would you like a beer ? I'm having one...."

Have a great weekend everyone.xx