Sunday, 31 January 2016
Saturday, 30 January 2016
Friday, 29 January 2016
Getting Sober Part 1 - What kind of Drunk am I?
Looking back.....what I experienced and what I learned...
Getting Sober Part 1 - What Kind of Drunk Am 1
WB xx
Thursday, 28 January 2016
Struggling with the Booze? Three ways Donald Trump can Help...
He he, yep, you read that title correctly....
Struggling with the Booze? Three Ways Donald Trump can Help
love, WB xx
Struggling with the Booze? Three Ways Donald Trump can Help
love, WB xx
Monday, 25 January 2016
Friday, 22 January 2016
A Temporary Commitment
"Does this mean that you''ll never drink again....", I'm often asked...
A Temporary Commitment
WB xx
A Temporary Commitment
WB xx
Tuesday, 19 January 2016
The Wrong Side of the Road.
When I moved to Canada, I had to re-learn how to drive, and take another test.....that includes parallel parking....wtf!!
The Wrong Side of the Road
The Wrong Side of the Road
Sunday, 17 January 2016
On Any Given Weekend...
Some thing weird is happening around here...our weekends used to follow the same routine...
On Any Given Weekend
New Video Blog is up....
What Grandma used to say ...Hint, - doesn't always make sense...
WB xx
On Any Given Weekend
New Video Blog is up....
What Grandma used to say ...Hint, - doesn't always make sense...
WB xx
Friday, 15 January 2016
10 Things I Can Do Sober, That I Couldn't Do While I was Drinking....
Life has most definitely improved, these are my Top Ten Highlights..
10 Things I Can Do Sober That I Couldn't Do While Drinking..
10 Things I Can Do Sober That I Couldn't Do While Drinking..
Wednesday, 13 January 2016
Sunday, 10 January 2016
The Perils of Naked Holidays....
We have friends who have decided to go to a Nudist Colony for their annual trip to warmer climates this winter. After chatting with them on the phone, I said to my husband....
ME : "I couldn't go on holiday to a nudist colony. Too dangerous"
HUSBAND : " Dangerous? What on earth do you mean?"
Read the Rest Here.......The Perils of Naked Holidays
WB xx
Friday, 8 January 2016
I used to have FOMO, now I'm happy with JOMO...
Ok everyone. It seems silly to have two place on the interwebby, where I write. So I'm going to combine the two, over on my Website. Which is Wordpress, which I prefer.
But I will still post the link here. So sorry about the extra click. See you on the other side xx
I Used to Have FOMO, now I'm Happy with JOMO
WBxx
But I will still post the link here. So sorry about the extra click. See you on the other side xx
I Used to Have FOMO, now I'm Happy with JOMO
WBxx
Thursday, 7 January 2016
The Answer Is Staring Us In the Face....
"When was the last time you woke up and wished you had just one more drink the night before? I've never regretted not drinking. Say this to yourself, and you'll get through anything"
Meredith Bell.
I came across this quote and I felt like the blindingly obvious had just smacked me in the face - how could I not see this before?
I never, no not once, wished that I had slurped down one more glass of wine the night before. And for that matter, I have never wished that I had eaten one more slice of cake, or one more plate of junk food, or one more ice- cream.....
And that, my friends, is the answer.
We NEVER wish we had more of the stuff that's bad for us.....at least, after the event. The morning after, it's always regret that we feel
"OMG, wish that I had stopped drinking sooner"
"I sure wish that I hadn't eaten so much cake"
"I didn't need to eat that plate of fries..."
That's the DEFINITION of shit. Stuff that makes us feel bad afterwards.
Now let's look at the good stuff....
"I wish I had one more hour at the beach, it was so much fun"
"I wish that I could hug Grandma one more time"
"I wish I could spend one more day on holiday with my husband...."
See?
Bad stuff makes you feel bad and wish you hadn't done it.
Good stuff makes you feel good and wish you could do it more.
"Say this to yourself and you'll get through anything"
WBxx
Meredith Bell.
I came across this quote and I felt like the blindingly obvious had just smacked me in the face - how could I not see this before?
I never, no not once, wished that I had slurped down one more glass of wine the night before. And for that matter, I have never wished that I had eaten one more slice of cake, or one more plate of junk food, or one more ice- cream.....
And that, my friends, is the answer.
We NEVER wish we had more of the stuff that's bad for us.....at least, after the event. The morning after, it's always regret that we feel
"OMG, wish that I had stopped drinking sooner"
"I sure wish that I hadn't eaten so much cake"
"I didn't need to eat that plate of fries..."
That's the DEFINITION of shit. Stuff that makes us feel bad afterwards.
Now let's look at the good stuff....
"I wish I had one more hour at the beach, it was so much fun"
"I wish that I could hug Grandma one more time"
"I wish I could spend one more day on holiday with my husband...."
See?
Bad stuff makes you feel bad and wish you hadn't done it.
Good stuff makes you feel good and wish you could do it more.
"Say this to yourself and you'll get through anything"
WBxx
Wednesday, 6 January 2016
Blow in Her Face, She'll Follow You Anywhere....
Says an ad for Tipalet Cigarettes.
Gross.
Yet it wasn't in 1969. It was "alluring". Somehow suggesting that a faceful of cigarette smoke would loosen a girl's panties quicker than a Tom Jones hip swivel. (I'm old, OK?)
Smoking was sexy. Smoking was cool. Smoking was fun....
But that was then, before we knew that the big tobacco companies had lied to us, had tried (and succeeded) to get us hooked, and had made gazillions of dollars peddling their evil cancer sticks......
We're so much more sophisticated now. We don't fall for that bullshit anymore.....
And to a certain extent, we are.
As far as the harmful effects of alcohol are concerned, we DO know far more than the previous generation knew about tobacco. We are well aware of the dangers of drunk driving, drinking while pregnant, alcohol poisoning....most of us even know about the "safe" weekly drinking limits set by governments.
I knew all that. But I drank and drank and drank anyway.......
Why? Because it's normal.
Everybody does it!
And somehow, we subconsciously convinced ourselves that there was safety in numbers. If we were all doing it, if it was normal, then all that health stuff must be wrong, right?
Well guess what? We did just fall for that bullshit again......
The alcohol industry hasn't misled us. They have actively participated in safety campaigns, made sure that they remind us to "enjoy responsibly", and they have refrained from putting out the "cheesy"ads that the tobacco companies pumped out half a decade ago.
We could argue that 'alcopops" were a cynical move to attract younger drinkers, that the industry has actively pursued the female market, and that argument would be correct.
But they've been far cleverer than the tobacco industry ever knew how to be.
They recruited us to sell their shit - and they didn't even pay us!
Most people drink because other people drink. I first started drinking wine in the afternoon because I had friends that did. I first started drinking wine rather than a cup of tea, when I got home from work, because everybody did that, right? Pulling out a bottle of wine at a kids birthday party was fine - we should have fun too....after the school run, after a business meeting, during a business meeting, at lunchtime, the afternoon, the evening..........we did it, BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE DID!!
This time, we can't shriek and blame big corporations for lying to us. We did it to ourselves!
Somehow, we have to squeeze the toothpaste back into the tube.
If we did such a good job of convincing everyone around us that booze was "cool", then we can reverse that.
I don't mean by being 'evangelical" and smug about how wonderful a sober life is (although it is, and I must admit, I do sometime feel a bit smug), not by preaching and pushing it down everyone's throats...
Remember how annoying those reformed smokers were, when they banged on and on about how wonderful everything smelled and tasted? Didn't you just want to punch them?
No, not like that.
Lead by example. Enjoy every moment of your life. Do stuff.
Live Your Best Sober Life!!
And maybe some day, getting all drunky drunk will be as uncool as huffing your fag * smoke over everyone....
WBxx
* "fag" means cigarette in England, my American friends. Otherwise that sentence would be weird.
Gross.
Yet it wasn't in 1969. It was "alluring". Somehow suggesting that a faceful of cigarette smoke would loosen a girl's panties quicker than a Tom Jones hip swivel. (I'm old, OK?)
Smoking was sexy. Smoking was cool. Smoking was fun....
But that was then, before we knew that the big tobacco companies had lied to us, had tried (and succeeded) to get us hooked, and had made gazillions of dollars peddling their evil cancer sticks......
We're so much more sophisticated now. We don't fall for that bullshit anymore.....
And to a certain extent, we are.
As far as the harmful effects of alcohol are concerned, we DO know far more than the previous generation knew about tobacco. We are well aware of the dangers of drunk driving, drinking while pregnant, alcohol poisoning....most of us even know about the "safe" weekly drinking limits set by governments.
I knew all that. But I drank and drank and drank anyway.......
Why? Because it's normal.
Everybody does it!
And somehow, we subconsciously convinced ourselves that there was safety in numbers. If we were all doing it, if it was normal, then all that health stuff must be wrong, right?
Well guess what? We did just fall for that bullshit again......
The alcohol industry hasn't misled us. They have actively participated in safety campaigns, made sure that they remind us to "enjoy responsibly", and they have refrained from putting out the "cheesy"ads that the tobacco companies pumped out half a decade ago.
We could argue that 'alcopops" were a cynical move to attract younger drinkers, that the industry has actively pursued the female market, and that argument would be correct.
But they've been far cleverer than the tobacco industry ever knew how to be.
They recruited us to sell their shit - and they didn't even pay us!
Most people drink because other people drink. I first started drinking wine in the afternoon because I had friends that did. I first started drinking wine rather than a cup of tea, when I got home from work, because everybody did that, right? Pulling out a bottle of wine at a kids birthday party was fine - we should have fun too....after the school run, after a business meeting, during a business meeting, at lunchtime, the afternoon, the evening..........we did it, BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE DID!!
This time, we can't shriek and blame big corporations for lying to us. We did it to ourselves!
Somehow, we have to squeeze the toothpaste back into the tube.
If we did such a good job of convincing everyone around us that booze was "cool", then we can reverse that.
I don't mean by being 'evangelical" and smug about how wonderful a sober life is (although it is, and I must admit, I do sometime feel a bit smug), not by preaching and pushing it down everyone's throats...
Remember how annoying those reformed smokers were, when they banged on and on about how wonderful everything smelled and tasted? Didn't you just want to punch them?
No, not like that.
Lead by example. Enjoy every moment of your life. Do stuff.
Live Your Best Sober Life!!
And maybe some day, getting all drunky drunk will be as uncool as huffing your fag * smoke over everyone....
WBxx
* "fag" means cigarette in England, my American friends. Otherwise that sentence would be weird.
Tuesday, 5 January 2016
Why I'm Proud of My Husband......
We got some positive news today, about my husband's business venture. It's not set in stone yet, we don't have any paperwork yet (my husband isn't big on paperwork), but it's a step forward. A really good start to the New Year....
I am proud of my husband. He kept going with this venture, in the face of almost impossible odds. People doubted, people laughed, people down right disbelieved him and trust me, it's been a struggle sometimes, as cash flow dried up, and we sat looking at each other, wondering how long we could keep going.
Luckily for us, in among all the naysayers, were some extremely important cheerleaders. They know who they are. And we are truly grateful.
My husband is grateful too.
But there is one person who stands out. One person who doesn't really understand about the business, and who couldn't have contributed a dollar, even though she would have donated all of her money, if she had any.
So this morning, after we got two exciting calls, my husband phoned his mum.
And that there, is why I'm proud of him.
Not because he has this amazing ability to create products, not because of his determination, not because of his sense of humour in the face of adversity, but because of his gratitude and love for his mum.
You can tell the measure of a man by the way he treats his mother
My mother-in-law is very religious. Her "other" family is her church. She is devoted, to the point that she pays a tithe, even though she is not far off the poverty line herself.
There are some, my husband included, who regards this particular Church as a cult. And certainly, it would seem that my mother-in-law made some harsh parenting choices, as a result of her religious fervour.
She was a disciplinarian, and was certainly not afraid to use corporal punishment
She insisted that the kids all go to Church every Saturday
She disapproved of just about all "normal" teenage activities.
She was blind to the dark side of the Church, the injustices and the cruelty.
She was also married to an alcoholic (although my late father-in-law sobered up, later in life), and was often responsible for feeding and clothing of six kids with virtually zero income.
When I speak to her now, there is not a trace of bitterness towards her late husband, although his alcoholism left them in debt, and her in poverty when he died.
Her hatred is directed towards alcohol itself.
"I've seen what alcohol can do" she says..."It's evil and destructive"
She's not just talking about my late father-in-law. She witnessed violence and abuse fueled by booze in the community where she worked as a teacher.
She was very supportive when I told her I was quitting drinking.
"That's marvelous, you'll be so much happier. Alcohol never brought anyone any happiness"
My husband often says...'if it wasn't for mum, I would never achieved anything, because I've no idea where we would have ended up....."
His gratitude translates into practical help for her these days. When the business takes off (and I know it will), top of the "to-do" list is to make sure we can provide a comfortable lifestyle for her, for the rest of her life.
So would I still be proud of all my husband's achievements, if he didn't hold his mum in such high regard? If he didn't take care of her?
I don't know. I wouldn't have married him.
I am proud of my husband. He kept going with this venture, in the face of almost impossible odds. People doubted, people laughed, people down right disbelieved him and trust me, it's been a struggle sometimes, as cash flow dried up, and we sat looking at each other, wondering how long we could keep going.
Luckily for us, in among all the naysayers, were some extremely important cheerleaders. They know who they are. And we are truly grateful.
My husband is grateful too.
But there is one person who stands out. One person who doesn't really understand about the business, and who couldn't have contributed a dollar, even though she would have donated all of her money, if she had any.
So this morning, after we got two exciting calls, my husband phoned his mum.
And that there, is why I'm proud of him.
Not because he has this amazing ability to create products, not because of his determination, not because of his sense of humour in the face of adversity, but because of his gratitude and love for his mum.
You can tell the measure of a man by the way he treats his mother
My mother-in-law is very religious. Her "other" family is her church. She is devoted, to the point that she pays a tithe, even though she is not far off the poverty line herself.
There are some, my husband included, who regards this particular Church as a cult. And certainly, it would seem that my mother-in-law made some harsh parenting choices, as a result of her religious fervour.
She was a disciplinarian, and was certainly not afraid to use corporal punishment
She insisted that the kids all go to Church every Saturday
She disapproved of just about all "normal" teenage activities.
She was blind to the dark side of the Church, the injustices and the cruelty.
She was also married to an alcoholic (although my late father-in-law sobered up, later in life), and was often responsible for feeding and clothing of six kids with virtually zero income.
When I speak to her now, there is not a trace of bitterness towards her late husband, although his alcoholism left them in debt, and her in poverty when he died.
Her hatred is directed towards alcohol itself.
"I've seen what alcohol can do" she says..."It's evil and destructive"
She's not just talking about my late father-in-law. She witnessed violence and abuse fueled by booze in the community where she worked as a teacher.
She was very supportive when I told her I was quitting drinking.
"That's marvelous, you'll be so much happier. Alcohol never brought anyone any happiness"
My husband often says...'if it wasn't for mum, I would never achieved anything, because I've no idea where we would have ended up....."
His gratitude translates into practical help for her these days. When the business takes off (and I know it will), top of the "to-do" list is to make sure we can provide a comfortable lifestyle for her, for the rest of her life.
So would I still be proud of all my husband's achievements, if he didn't hold his mum in such high regard? If he didn't take care of her?
I don't know. I wouldn't have married him.
Monday, 4 January 2016
Identifying Your Tribe - Action Notes for the Newly Sober.
You have a shit load of....well, shit to think about when you first become sober.
But it's mostly good. In fact, as time goes on, it's the small things that start to make you feel bloody marvelous, and you start to believe that YES, this SOBER SHIT IS AWESOME!!
Until........PEOPLE....start to FUCK.IT.UP.
Yes, "people", all kinds of people in your life, that you thought you knew will start to behave in all kinds of bewildering ways, and if you're not careful, will have you second guessing all the hard work you have put into this new awesome lifestyle.
So to help you.....here is a brief guide, with ACTION NOTES....to help you navigate your way through the sea of false friends and assholes, and identify the your NEW LOVING SUPPORTIVE TRIBE......
"NORMAL" DRINKERS.
These are people that you know slightly, that previously you used to ignore. This is because when you used to offer them wine in the afternoon (to legitimize your own drinking) they used to say things like
"Wine? Gosh, what are we celebrating?" or
"Wine? No thanks, just tea for me"
They also used to do strange things like not finishing a glass of wine. Leaving a half-finished bottle of wine on the table. Spend their weekends doing "non-drinking activities" like hiking, or outdoor sports, or anything tended that compromise your drinking time...so you didn't take part, even when invited.
In short, these people CONFUSED THE CRAP out of you.
ACTION NOTES.
These people, over time will become part of your new tribe. At first they will be wary of you (because they are used to being ignored), but eventually, you'll be invited to all kinds of social events that will be fun. They won't make you feel uncomfortable because you're not drinking - because they rarely drink themselves!
SUPPORTIVE FRIENDS
These are your true friends that you abandoned because of their annoying habit of Calling You On Your Bullshit.
Yes, the friends that used to say "I'm getting a bit worried about you, you texted me last night, were you drunk again?"
You ditched them, because they were FUNBUSTERS (or so you told yourself) and gradually they disappeared from your life, because you were rude, obnoxious, and self absorbed.
ACTION NOTES.
Start eating humble pie. Phone, text and email and APOLOGIZE for being a jerk. These people will be supportive and loving if you let them.
They will meet you for tea or coffee. They will check in and see how you are doing - they will be the CHEERLEADERS in your life, as you start to flourish and achieve things....without booze.
DRUNKEN IDIOTS
These people are basically annoying but harmless. They drink copious amounts, and say stuff to you like "Oh shit, are you still on the wagon?". But basically they don't care if you drink or don't drink. Because they are too drunk to give a shit.
ACTION NOTES
Basically do nothing. Just observe. That used to be you. Not pretty is it?
EVIL FREAKING ASSHOLES (EFAs)
These people are stealthy. They come disguised as friends. At first they will feign concern "Oh poor you, do you really have to give up FOR GOOD?".
They will try to test you
"Oh go on, just one won't hurt"
Then they will openly try to sabotage you......"Oh, you won't last....remember when you tried to give up chocolate, that only lasted a week, just have a drink for God's sake, don't be so fucking uptight, have some fun...."
These people have some power, IF YOU LET THEM....because they are often family members or people you regarded as friends. So it's hurtful.
There are many reasons why they behave this way:
DO NOT try to explain yourself. Do not try to "save" or "help" them. DO NOT play their games. Minimize CONTACT if they are family members, or better still ELIMINATE EFA's from your life COMPLETELY......
Very soon, you'll establish a new tribe. A new circle of positive people who love being sober and will help you love this life too. In fact, you've just started - welcome to Sober CyberWorld....
WB xx
- Strategies and activities to banish the Wine Witch at five o'clock,
- New shopping routes to buy NA beverages rather than the liquor store or the booze aisle,
- New sleep patterns
- Strange "healthy" feelings from a newly hydrated body
- No morning scramble to delete embarrassing social media posts from the night before
- No faking knowledge about the new episode of Game of Thrones because you can't remember watching it...
But it's mostly good. In fact, as time goes on, it's the small things that start to make you feel bloody marvelous, and you start to believe that YES, this SOBER SHIT IS AWESOME!!
Until........PEOPLE....start to FUCK.IT.UP.
Yes, "people", all kinds of people in your life, that you thought you knew will start to behave in all kinds of bewildering ways, and if you're not careful, will have you second guessing all the hard work you have put into this new awesome lifestyle.
So to help you.....here is a brief guide, with ACTION NOTES....to help you navigate your way through the sea of false friends and assholes, and identify the your NEW LOVING SUPPORTIVE TRIBE......
"NORMAL" DRINKERS.
These are people that you know slightly, that previously you used to ignore. This is because when you used to offer them wine in the afternoon (to legitimize your own drinking) they used to say things like
"Wine? Gosh, what are we celebrating?" or
"Wine? No thanks, just tea for me"
They also used to do strange things like not finishing a glass of wine. Leaving a half-finished bottle of wine on the table. Spend their weekends doing "non-drinking activities" like hiking, or outdoor sports, or anything tended that compromise your drinking time...so you didn't take part, even when invited.
In short, these people CONFUSED THE CRAP out of you.
ACTION NOTES.
These people, over time will become part of your new tribe. At first they will be wary of you (because they are used to being ignored), but eventually, you'll be invited to all kinds of social events that will be fun. They won't make you feel uncomfortable because you're not drinking - because they rarely drink themselves!
SUPPORTIVE FRIENDS
These are your true friends that you abandoned because of their annoying habit of Calling You On Your Bullshit.
Yes, the friends that used to say "I'm getting a bit worried about you, you texted me last night, were you drunk again?"
You ditched them, because they were FUNBUSTERS (or so you told yourself) and gradually they disappeared from your life, because you were rude, obnoxious, and self absorbed.
ACTION NOTES.
Start eating humble pie. Phone, text and email and APOLOGIZE for being a jerk. These people will be supportive and loving if you let them.
They will meet you for tea or coffee. They will check in and see how you are doing - they will be the CHEERLEADERS in your life, as you start to flourish and achieve things....without booze.
DRUNKEN IDIOTS
These people are basically annoying but harmless. They drink copious amounts, and say stuff to you like "Oh shit, are you still on the wagon?". But basically they don't care if you drink or don't drink. Because they are too drunk to give a shit.
ACTION NOTES
Basically do nothing. Just observe. That used to be you. Not pretty is it?
EVIL FREAKING ASSHOLES (EFAs)
These people are stealthy. They come disguised as friends. At first they will feign concern "Oh poor you, do you really have to give up FOR GOOD?".
They will try to test you
"Oh go on, just one won't hurt"
Then they will openly try to sabotage you......"Oh, you won't last....remember when you tried to give up chocolate, that only lasted a week, just have a drink for God's sake, don't be so fucking uptight, have some fun...."
These people have some power, IF YOU LET THEM....because they are often family members or people you regarded as friends. So it's hurtful.
There are many reasons why they behave this way:
- You shine a light on their own dysfunctional drinking
- You have stopped playing the "role" that they expect you to play
- They suffer from JEALOUSY, and dragging you back down makes them feel better
- THEY ARE JUST TOXIC ASSHOLES.
DO NOT try to explain yourself. Do not try to "save" or "help" them. DO NOT play their games. Minimize CONTACT if they are family members, or better still ELIMINATE EFA's from your life COMPLETELY......
Very soon, you'll establish a new tribe. A new circle of positive people who love being sober and will help you love this life too. In fact, you've just started - welcome to Sober CyberWorld....
WB xx
Friday, 1 January 2016
My First Sober New Year in about 3 Decades....
Holy Cow! This is beyond awesome!
I thought I would share my New Year in pictures.....
Here is our finished gazebo with campfire. We managed to stay outside until about 10pm New Year's Eve, until our fronts were hot and out backsides were freezing....
Here is a little project that I finished yesterday - my Vision Board for 2016. I have never really attempted one seriously before, but it was fun, and I got to use glue and felt pens and scissors, and still feel grownup :)
Here is the Nanaimo River - we walked along the river today, completely hangover free, enjoying the glorious sunshine, a welcome break from the shitty rain.
It was a fitting start to a Sober New Year,
I hope yours was just as good,
love WBxx
I thought I would share my New Year in pictures.....
Here is our finished gazebo with campfire. We managed to stay outside until about 10pm New Year's Eve, until our fronts were hot and out backsides were freezing....
It was a fitting start to a Sober New Year,
I hope yours was just as good,
love WBxx
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