Was I really that bad? Did I really need to quit for good?
Before I gave up drinking forever, I would surf the internet, and fill in endless questionnaires to figure out if I had a problem......well, more to convince myself that I didn't.
Now that I've not had a drink for 131 days, very occasionally an old familiar voice will whisper..."Seriously, don't you think this is all a bit over the top?".
So I devised my own questionnaire/ multiple choice session to refer back to, when I am gripped with a "fuck it" moment......you may use/amend/insert/delete if you think it might help.
Qu 1. While drinking, have you ever texted/posted on social media something inappropriate that you can't remember the next day?
a. Never
b. Occasionally
c. I had to lock my phone in the car every night and then I would still stumble to the car to get it if I felt in my drunken state that I had something to rant about, or "profound" to share.
(I chose "c")
Qu 2. Have you ever woken up in the morning with the sneaking suspicion that you had sex the night before but can't remember it?
a. Never
b. Occasionally
c. What's sober sex like?**
(I chose "c")
Qu 3. Have you ever thanked God for Netflix and re-watched episodes of a show, because you can't remember what happened, and you don't want anyone to know?
a. Never
b. Occasionally
c. Luckily I work from home, so I could (re) binge watch the whole of Breaking Bad.
(oh, you know)
Qu 4. Did you ever google "am I an alcoholic" or read a sober blog?
a. Never
b.Occasionally
c.Just look at my search engine results, you only have to type in "a" to see what the prompts are...
And finally.....
Qu 5. Now that you have given up drinking, do you ever wish that you could go back to the way things were?
a. Never
b. Never
c. Never, ever, ever, ever.
** Don't worry, I know now!
Have a great week,
WB xx
I love this. I was concerned at the start. But I hear ya.
ReplyDeleteI remember early on being distressed and wishing things could go back to how they were.
But I immediately realized I could not cope with things the way they were. And that I would never, ever want that again.
Love this!
Anne
Jackie, you are so funny! Obviously the answer is no..BUT!! So what if you did? If you thought you might have diabetes and as a result lost weight and started eating healthy but it turned out you didn't have it, would you give a shit?? And go back to eating butter by the stick??
ReplyDeleteWell I do like butter. but, hell no, lol
DeleteYeah I'm kind of there right now. Over 100 days. Don't want to drink like I used to but creating scenarios in my head of how it could be different now. Keep thinking 'i could just have few drinks when i go out and just never drink in the house' - that's my favourite at the moment. But the reality is that it would kick start old bad habits and I ain't going back to that! My check list would be different to yours as I think we all have our own cringe monitors! I am just so glad I came across soberistas and found my way to your blog (and a few others)I'll never forget reading them all that first day and thinking 'oh my god there are so many of us'!!!!! At that point I'd never even considered stopping. I was always just cutting down.
ReplyDeleteI love this!
ReplyDeleteMy own questionnaire would be interesting to say the least!
xo
Wendy