The big conundrum with becoming sober? Sober helps us be more present in our lives..right?
Yet, one big reason that people drink is to NOT be present in our lives....
Diving into that bottle of wine each night gave us (well, definitely me) a break from our daily grind, the mundane irritating issues like debt, bills, family bickering, the boat that's STILL parked in my frigging driveway....
Ann Dowsett Johnston says it better...
"With that first sip, my shoulders seemed to unhitch from my earlobes....Somehow with the second glass, the tectonic plates of my psyche would shift, and I'd be more at ease. Jake use to say it this way "When you drink, that piano on your back seems to disappear..."
The piano on my back weighed heavier, especially when I moved to Canada. It played discordant notes to me as I split up with my long term partner, and I was left wondering if I should move back to England? Stay? The only soothing music in my life was wine....and as I sat in my tiny apartment, clutching glass after glass......all I wanted was the notes to play loud enough so I didn't have to focus on my financial and emotional woes.
It's why we convince ourselves that wine is a reward. It takes us to a place where our troubles, however niggling and insignificant, are not invited.
And that's hard to replace.
Some people recommend meditation, and apart from feeling like a pillock (thank you Sober Mummy for that- see her great post on meditation here), it's also a skill you have to work at.....not nearly as instant as alcohol.
Which is why I am fascinated with the latest trend in Adult Colouring Books.
Yes, that's correct - colouring in shapes and designs, just like when we were children.
Remember childhood? Those rainy afternoons working industriously away on a craft project, so engrossed that time just melted away....
Wouldn't it be great to get back there, just a short while every day? When the only dilemma faced is
'I wonder if a purple stem would look good on that yellow flower?"
I totally get it.
A lovely lady Naomi Gilmour from my business group is a firm advocate of colouring , and she was interviewed on Radio 2 this week...here's the link if you would like to listen. (The interview starts at about 1.37)
And speaking of pillocks, see if you can spot one in the interview.
I'm off to get my pencils sharpened :)