Quitting was one of my favourite things.
I quit ballet, Girl Guides, a variety of subjects at school, the Hockey Team, summer jobs, grown-up jobs, marriages, diets, exercise regimes, writing novels, businesses....
When the going got tough......I poured a glass of wine. (Not when I quit Girl Guides, obviously..)
I am a famous Quitter.
Not when it came to alcohol. I really hung in there for the long haul.
For the first time in my life, quitting was hard.
I realized today, that this is probably the longest stint in my life that I haven't given up on something.
It hasn't helped that there are about half a dozen people who are waiting patiently for me to quit quitting.
"Are you still off the booze?
It's fair enough really. It's what people have come to expect from me, what I expect from myself.
I sense a shift in my perspective.
I've worked hard at developing my business. It's been in existence since this time last year. Although last year, I was still drinking. So I've only really been dedicated to working at it for the last four-ish months.
It takes time to build a business. Logically I know that. But this week I thought about quitting. I haven't sold anything. It's not surprising, it's an online business, it takes consistent effort to be successful and make money.
Yet, for a day, I thought about getting a job. I even saw a job advertised that I could do. I even persuaded myself that it would be fulfilling and fun. I imagined myself in the role.
Then I looked at my files on my desk. The blogs, articles, videos, podcasts and lesson plans.
So much hard work.
Like sobriety.
To stop working at my business, would mean that I throw away all the hard work I have done (and had fun doing!)
To pick up a glass of wine, would throw away all the hard work I've done (and the fun I've had)
So this week I did two things.
I quit quitting.
And I resolved to never quit quitting.
WB xx
Love it! Almost made me quite tearful. I'm a bit of an emotional wreck just now and this just touched me. Well done you. I'm not quitting quitting either!!!
ReplyDeleteHugs to you, you non -quitter xx
DeleteGood for you, you quitter-not-quitter! Don't you think, once again, that we can blame our habitual quitting on alcohol? We always had our old friend, booze, to take the edge off of our disappointment in ourselves, it made quitting tolerable and acceptable. If we'd had to live with the full brunt of our regret, we probably would have learned to commit more fully.
ReplyDeleteDamn, booze!
Oh yes, one glass of wine and it was 'oh, well, it wasn't mean to be....".
DeleteI'm learning how to toughen up!