Monday, 26 October 2015

Kick the Sh*t out of Bullsh*t.

These are my Top Bullshit Reasons for Not Quitting Booze....they may be your reasons too.

  • I'm still Quite Thin.
Despite the gazillion calories in wine, I managed to stay thin for a number of years. This was because I lived on my own and didn't eat. I was also in a very toxic relationship, so I was continually stressed. Therefore, I was thin and I equated that with being healthy. Total Bullshit.
 I ignored that fact that I was 'puffy", my skin was blotchy (as that much ignored vital organ tried desperately to flush poison out of my body), I had dark rings round my eyes because I tended to pass out rather than sleep, I suspect that my breath and my body smelled of stale wine most of the time, I ignored all but the essential daily grooming.
But hey, I was still thin.......
  • All My Friends Drink More than Me.
Well, for me that may or may not be true. I certainly spent a great deal of time at social gathering trying to assess how much each person was drinking, and whether I was drinking more or less than them. That's not weird at all, right?
Putting aside my obsession with other people's habits, the fact remained that I was drinking too much for me.
If I needed proof of this, all I had to do was wait until the next morning, and then try to piece together conversations that I'd had the night before...conversations that everyone else remembered.
But, at least I didn't drink as much as them.... 

  • My Husband/Wife/Significant Other Drinks. 
 Yes, so does mine. A lot less, now that I'm not arriving home every night with two bottles of wine - red for him, white for me (he would have two glasses at the most, so I got to finish his bottle too). He now has a couple of glasses of whisky at the weekends.
He was relieved when I stopped. I imagined that he would be disappointed not to have a drinking partner. But as he said..." I don't want a drinking partner, I want my wife".
If your partner doesn't react in a similarly positive way......get another partner. I'm serious.

  • I won't get Invited Anywhere Because I'm Not Fun.
You won't get invited to boozy evenings where you get to stand around with a bunch of drunk people. Drunk people are BORING. When you are drinking, you are boring too. As was I.
Be thankful, do something else (we do lots now, for instance, this weekend, we visited the local museum that I have never set foot in before, we went for a hike and we went to the movies to see 'Bridge of Spies, which was excellent, but be my guest, go and party, get drunk and spend the day on the couch...ooh that sounds fun...)

  • I will lose all my Friends.
Good. Get new ones. If you are a "friend" because you drink, then, my friend are not a 'friend", you are a "drinking buddy".
I shed several toxic relationships. Feels good. Doors are slammed shut on those people.

  • I Don't know how to Cope if I don't drink......
 Aaahhhh. The REAL reasons.

I can help with this one. The real fact is that you learn to cope for the first time ever. Because you are not numbing your brain with booze, you deal with stuff. And when you deal with stuff, it goes away, and you don't have to worry about it, don't need to "cope" with it.
It's a beautiful circle. You deal with the small stuff, you get more confident, and when the Big Stuff happens...guess what? You can cope.....

Sheryl Sandberg is one of my heroes. Not only is she the youngest business woman to ever become a billionaire (COO of Facebook), a writer, a champion of women's issues and rights all over the world....she recently lost her husband in a tragic accident. And this is what she said (paraphrasing).

"Living my life with David was my Option A. I didn't want an Option B. But that's what I got. So now I'm kicking the shit out of Option B, in his honour"

Option A for lots of us would be the ability to occasionally have a glass of wine, a cold beer. But we've been given Option B. Let's kick the shit out of it.




  1. I so so needed this. Thank you. I guess my reasons are mostly all of the above and this one: I don't know how to have fun, relax and enjoy the moment without booze. If I conquer this one, i can conquer the world.

    1. Give yourself permission to try it. Plan an afternoon, just for you - trip to the spa, walk on the beach, visit a museum, sit and read a book - do something JUST FOR YOU.....and do it without booze. And then plan a hour for yourself everyday - don't tell me you don't have time, because drinking takes up hours - do something that makes you smile - and very soon, you will prove to yourself that booze is NOT NECESSARY. hugs xxx

  2. Love this! I had a gazillion justifications/reasons for my drinking and they were all rubbish excuses, it got to the point where I couldn't ignore the truth staring me right in my puffy face anylonger.

  3. Thank-you so much for this, just exactly what I need to hear in regards to my fears..... I have been following your blog for some months, and it has helped me work out where I need to get too.....thanks again

  4. This is great. The friend thing is really bugging me at the moment. I am sad as many friends now seem really shallow without my wine goggles on. Time to move on I suppose.

    1. Yes, it is sad. I was upset initially when several 'friends" were almost sabotaging me..."just one won't hurt...", but I realized that me being sober made them uncomfortably aware of their own drinking. But I have to look after myself first, we all do. And I also found out that with some people, all I had in common was wine. Its an adjustment for sure.

  5. Hi Jackie!
    This is an awesome post!!
    I really only lost one drinking buddy/friend due to my being sober.
    It is hard sometimes, but my hubs points out how negative she was in my life.
    And the partner thing is so true.
    My hubs even stopped drinking for me!
    He likes Coke better anyway!

  6. OMG, drunk people are sooooo BORING THANK YOU YES!! Yawn! And annoying:)