Sunday, 1 November 2015

And then we were hit by a Giant Pumpkin Asteroid.....

Or my Alternative Title for this post....."Life isn't a facebook meme....."

I am feeling quite restless. According to the Shamanic Monthly e-mail I get on the 1st of every month, which is supposed to guide me spiritually for the next 30 or so days ($19.99 gets you the accompanying daily audio), RESTLESS is the Theme for November.

Hence, I was not too worried about feeling restless....until I saw the news on the 31st October, (which no one else seems to have seen) when I learned that a giant asteroid (shaped seasonally like a pumpkin) was hurtling towards Earth, and would (hopefully) miss us by a narrow margin.

"Hmmm.." I thought..."That sucks..."

And second thought...

"What's the point of me being sober then? If I am to die like the dinosaurs? And why was this not mentioned in my Shamanic Monthly Newsletter? Would I have been notified if I had signed up for the audio?

I am restless because now that I am Sober.....I feel that I should be DOING something with my life....

I have been the classic underachiever for most of my life.

Could have gone to University and become a lawyer .....didn't ( as my mother reminds me at every fucking opportunity)

Could have stayed at my soul- less mind numbing job at the bank and reached the dizzy heights of "Manager" ......didn't (would DEFINITELY have died of alcoholism if I had done that)

Could have been a famous ballerina....didn't (failed my first dance exam when I was five)......and so on....

Until here I am, nearly 48 years old, and the two big accomplishments of my life (so far), are finding my lovely husband (having the good sense to marry him) and quitting booze.

I read so often about people who had a life changing experience...maybe a brush with death, maybe the loss of a loved one, and then they completely turned their life around and climbed Everest, or became President or something...

How many times have you seen a horrible tragedy on the news and thought to yourself....

"life is so short......I should do something with mine...."

And then the headlines go on to something else, and that fleeting thought was just that.....fleeting.

My facebook timeline is filled with "Inspirational Memes"......quotes on pretty backgrounds, intended to lift you up, and inspire you to great things...

"Life isn't a dress rehearsal!"
"Be All that you can be!"
"Live your Passion"

And most of us scroll by, or maybe "share' them, as if this tiny action, this sharing of the inspirational message is all you have to do....

A smart lady who runs the business group I'm in....posted in exasperation a few weeks ago, something like this..

"I glad you're all inspired, but inspiration is nothing without action...."

I probably "liked" the post and moved on, forgetting it until now, now that my Fate is completely dependent on the hurtling asteroid....

I guess what I am really trying to say, is that now I have finally climbed out of my wine soaked pit, I would like my Sober Life to actually mean something. So here is what I have resolved...

I will take Action.
My life will not be a Meme.
I will Accomplish Things.
I will Unsubscribe from Shamanic Monthly.

(providing, of course that we don't get struck by the hurtling pumpkin asteroid).


  1. A couple of things: 1) I looked it up and the "dead comet" has "hurtled safely past earth", so there's a good chance you can complete your list. 2) apparently said deceased comet bore a "striking resemblence to a human skull" which seees somewhat Monthy Python-y and being vaporized by it would be hilariously ironic
    3) Shamanic Monthly?? Really?

    1. 1. Phew.
      2. That would be more ironic than a Pumpkin
      3. I know, *tiptoes away in shame*

  2. Your life does mean something.
    You have opened your eyes and are like bing life fully, and sharing that with others.
    That itself makes the world a better place.
    Anything else is just gravy.

  3. I know exactly what you mean. I am nearly 48 too, and nearly 5 months sober. I also feel like two of the best things I have done so far are 1) marrying my fantastic wife, and 2) quitting drinking. Like you, I often feel I have underachieved. However, in my sobriety, I am trying to simply accept that the past is past and get on with my life. I am also grateful for what I do have, which is plenty -- health, love, work. Moreover, thanks to dropping the booze, I now feel I have the energy, the drive, and the self-confidence necessary to do whatever I set my mind too. However, I am getting to know myself again, and I am not sure what direction I want to take.

    In short, I'd say to grateful for what you have, for quitting drinking, and then try to determine what you really want out of life. Personally, I am still working on that, but like Anne said above, you have already achieved a lot by opening your eyes and making the world a bit better. Curiously, I feel less anxious now about having underachieved than I did when drinking. I guess because I am mostly able to accept that I did what I did, and things aren't so bad right where I am.

    Best wishes to you on your continuing journey of self-discovery!


    1. Thanks Brad. I think that Wine was such a big part of my life, that like you, I am a bit undecided about What To Do Next. But I am grateful for every sober day, every Monday morning without a hangover, and all the possibilities that lie ahead. Thanks for you comment, and for reading!

  4. I know this feeling!
    Having retired from teaching, and getting sober, I want to do more, but keep putting things off.
    However, I am realizing with every day that passes, that if I am happy and can pass that happiness to my amazing hubs and friends, that is enough.
    You don't need to be anything more than you are. You are showing courage and strength by staying sober!