Sunday, 25 October 2015

It's Like Banging Your Head Against a Wall

It feels so good when you stop.....

That's how I think about alcohol now.

I feel so great now, why didn't I do it sooner?

Because I wasn't ready. Because I was worried that I would be boring. Because I was concerned that my husband would be dismayed because we could never go on a trip touring the vineyards in California. Because I didn't know how I would punctuate the day from work time to relax time.

Because I thought I couldn't do it.......

Because, because, because.......

People say stupid things like 'you just have to hit your rock bottom....."

Only people who have never had an addiction say shit like that.

Do they seriously think that people who abuse alcohol consciously think....

"Oh, I'll just keep drinking until I lose my job, screw up my relationships, alienate my friends, destroy my health....then I'll give up...

Most of us started drinking because it was fun, and everyone else was doing it. Then the fun stopped, but the drinking didn't. Then one day, it became destructive.

Funny, I can't pinpoint a "rock bottom" but I can, with clarity, tell you the exact moment that I took a plunge off the cliff towards the rocks below......(but that's another blog)

Somehow, I grabbed hold of a branch, and started to claw my way up. I stopped drinking.

Whatever "reasons" you have for not stopping, whatever "worries" or "concerns" you have about life without wine, I can tell you....

It's feels better when you stop. Don't wait until you have a gash in your head. Or you hit the rocks.

WB xx


  1. You are so right!
    I am so happy I didn't wait one more day.
    I didn't want to lose my husband or job, and I could see that would happen the way I was going!

  2. I was convinced I was going to die very soon. In retrospect, I likely could have gone on a lot longer, but really felt my impending demise!!

    1. I had sleepless nights when I was convinced that every ache in my arms or legs was a blood clot and I would have a stroke before morning. Or a heart attack. It STILL took a long time for me to quit, because every evening, as wine o'clock struck, I told myself how silly that all was.......

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  5. I am always thankful I stopped before my bottom got any lower. Because at some point people lose so much that getting sober no longer seems worthwhile. And that must be a horrible place to be.

    You have inspired me to write a post about this...

  6. I started questioning my dinking because it started to affect my mood and my health. No rock bottom. But quite a few drunken mistakes. I am still struggling with quitting. But boy do I want to stop once and for all.

    1. I totally agree with this. I am still struggling with quitting as well. But the desire to quit is getting stronger. Reading posts like this one is really inspiring. =)

  7. I didn't hit rock bottom, but I could see myself picking up steam rolling towards it.

    6 months, today!

  8. What I need to read right now. I feel as though I'm a hair's breadth away from disaster, things will seriously fuck up if I don't stop.

    1. Take a deep breath and try not to panic. You're in the right place. It takes a while to figure out what works and what doesn't. For the first short while, you'll feel like you are hanging on with your finger nails, but it DOES get better. Blogging helps, reading other people's blogs......just going to bed REALLY early can help too, if you're having cravings. Just the act of undressing and putting on PJs made it harder for me to say fuck it and go and get a bottle of wine. Glad you joined us. welcome fellow Londoner xxx

  9. I love this post. Thank you for this. I have been trying to quit for 3 years and have been unsuccessful. Reading posts like this make it that much more inspiring to give up booze for good. Because quitting cold turkey hasn't worked for me in the past, I am cutting back week by week until I am at 0. It's certainly a journey, but I can't wait to get to 0. I can't wait to feel like you do. Thank you.

  10. I so agree. I am so glad I stopped. Life is so much better now I have.