Friday, 11 December 2015

Porcupines and Pumpkins.

Last summer was a gong show for me.

It seemed that we had guests staying for the ENTIRE summer, staying in our tiny house, or camping in our yard.

When they all left, I was so DONE with being a hostess, that I converted our spare bedroom to my office, and lovely it is too. (see The Fall)

This week, I got a phone call from one of last summer's guests, who "had such a lovely time, we thought we would book our holidays and visit you guys again!"


"Drinking Jackie" would have handled it like this...

  • Agree that it was all "lovely" and YES wouldn't it be great to do it all again (while cursing inwardly)
  • Slam down the phone and shout at my husband
  • Pour a glass of wine
  • Go on a long diatribe about HOW SELFISH other people are
  • Pour another glass (or three) of wine
  • Get myself into a wild temper and post an obscure "status" on fb about how UNBELIEVABLY THOUGHTLESS everyone in the world is.....
"Non Drinking Jackie" handled it thus....

  • Yes it was lovely, but it was also a lot of work, and we're not sure what our plans are for the coming summer. Please don't make any arrangements yet, I give you a call back tomorrow.
  • Feel quite pleased with myself.
  • Obsess about it ALL day I a complete Bitch to say NO? Maybe it will be different, maybe they will hate us, maybe Hubby will be mad, maybe, maybe, maybe....
 In the evening, my husband and I were watching TV, but my obsessing got too much...

"X and Y want to come down and camp in our yard, but I don't really want them to, so I'm going to say No, is that OK, am I a Bitch?"

My husband just said calmly "I agree. Say No. You're not a Bitch"

I didn't hear...

"Because it was really, really hard work, they are really nice people, but it would be better if they camped somewhere else, and we just met up to go fishing or something, not everyday because that's too much, it's just because our house is so small, and we ran completely out of water because of the strain on the well, and I just thought we could have time to ourselves next summer, that would be nice wouldn't it? ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME? Why are you looking at your phone, did they text you? Are they asking you? Are they mad with me? ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?

Husband..." Yes. you said that X and Y want to camp but you don't want them to. So you're going to say No. And I said, "I agree""

Me " Didn't you hear the rest? WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT YOUR PHONE?"

Husband "I'm watching a really cute video of a porcupine eating a pumpkin for the very first time ever...look, it's really cute...."

WB xxx

Sometimes, our "sober life" just doesn't live up to our expectations...."Sober Expectations is here"

I've been seeing some posts lately from people who are having a tough go of it, and I've got a couple of emails....this video is about my "shift" in thinking.....I hope it helps a bit.....find it here


  1. Well sober life even though is still emotional, it is also more rational. :) I like sober rationality.

  2. I'm in awe of you. You set boundaries! I need more spine! Lol

  3. Ha!
    Good one!
    And yes, good for you saying no!!!