Day 61

After a few "down" days, the fog seems to have lifted - from my spirits, anyway! We are still in a smoky fog from wild fires that are alight in BC. Very thankful for the firefighters who are working 24/7, mostly dealing with the results of stupid actions by humans that have sparked the worst of the blazes.

This week,my hubby and I celebrated our wedding anniversary, and I also made 60 days AF! Yay!

After my brief brush with PAWS, I thought I would remind myself, and any reader who may be on the start of their journey, or going through PAWS themselves, some stuff I have discovered.

1. There is no right or wrong way to do this.

I read Jason Vales' book at the beginning, and for a while I was getting my knickers in a bunch about not following his advice to the letter. For example, he tells us not to count days. I completely understand why - we are supposed to be embracing a whole new wonderful lifestyle, not counting the days of denial - yet I still count, because it gives me a sense of accomplishment. It makes me feel good, and it also keep me on this path .....'how could you drink wine when you've come so far? I tell myself.
It may be different for other people, I may feel differently when I get to 100 days, or 200, but until then, I will continue to count.

2. I drink AF beer and wine.

Again, may people advise against this, in case it is a trigger to drink the 'real" stuff. But firstly, I like it, and secondly, it is a tool to use in situations when I don't want to talk about not drinking.  I may give this up also, but for now, AF beer especially works for me.

3. I've stopped worrying about my weight and my sugar intake.

Sugar is bad. I get it. One vice at a time. As for my weight, I lost quite a bit to start with, I started juicing, and I even attempted to run a bit. It didn't last. Again, one lifestyle change at a time. I just stopped putting poison in my body. That's a good thing. These extra 30 pounds I carry? That  happened over a decade. I don't need to deal with it all at once, it can wait for another month.

4. I am much more productive. I can take a day off occasionally.

To start with, I was paranoid about catching up all that lost time in the wine years. I can't make up for that. Day to day, my work is so much better than it was, I've got my passion back; my house is cleaner; I take care of admin stuff on time......if I have a couple of down days, (like my recent PAWS days) I don't need to beat myself up.

5. I am not consumed with Guilt for my bad wine behaviour on a constant basis.

Did I behave badly? Yes. Do I regret every incident? No. Some incidents would have occurred anyway, the same words would have been said (less slurry), the same results would have occurred.


I am not the same person I was 60 days ago. Maybe I am more like the person I was 20 years ago. It doesn't really matter.....to quote something I saw on social media ...

"I love the smell of possibility in the morning"

WB xx