Thursday, 9 July 2015

Day 61

After a few "down" days, the fog seems to have lifted - from my spirits, anyway! We are still in a smoky fog from wild fires that are alight in BC. Very thankful for the firefighters who are working 24/7, mostly dealing with the results of stupid actions by humans that have sparked the worst of the blazes.

This week,my hubby and I celebrated our wedding anniversary, and I also made 60 days AF! Yay!

After my brief brush with PAWS, I thought I would remind myself, and any reader who may be on the start of their journey, or going through PAWS themselves, some stuff I have discovered.

1. There is no right or wrong way to do this.

I read Jason Vales' book at the beginning, and for a while I was getting my knickers in a bunch about not following his advice to the letter. For example, he tells us not to count days. I completely understand why - we are supposed to be embracing a whole new wonderful lifestyle, not counting the days of denial - yet I still count, because it gives me a sense of accomplishment. It makes me feel good, and it also keep me on this path .....'how could you drink wine when you've come so far? I tell myself.
It may be different for other people, I may feel differently when I get to 100 days, or 200, but until then, I will continue to count.

2. I drink AF beer and wine.

Again, may people advise against this, in case it is a trigger to drink the 'real" stuff. But firstly, I like it, and secondly, it is a tool to use in situations when I don't want to talk about not drinking.  I may give this up also, but for now, AF beer especially works for me.

3. I've stopped worrying about my weight and my sugar intake.

Sugar is bad. I get it. One vice at a time. As for my weight, I lost quite a bit to start with, I started juicing, and I even attempted to run a bit. It didn't last. Again, one lifestyle change at a time. I just stopped putting poison in my body. That's a good thing. These extra 30 pounds I carry? That  happened over a decade. I don't need to deal with it all at once, it can wait for another month.

4. I am much more productive. I can take a day off occasionally.

To start with, I was paranoid about catching up all that lost time in the wine years. I can't make up for that. Day to day, my work is so much better than it was, I've got my passion back; my house is cleaner; I take care of admin stuff on time......if I have a couple of down days, (like my recent PAWS days) I don't need to beat myself up.

5. I am not consumed with Guilt for my bad wine behaviour on a constant basis.

Did I behave badly? Yes. Do I regret every incident? No. Some incidents would have occurred anyway, the same words would have been said (less slurry), the same results would have occurred.

I am not the same person I was 60 days ago. Maybe I am more like the person I was 20 years ago. It doesn't really quote something I saw on social media ...

"I love the smell of possibility in the morning"

WB xx


  1. Love this WB! I counted days until I got to 4 months, and now I don't feel the need to any more. Not sure why. I couldn't get by without Becks Blue. So what? I didn't start losing weight until after 3 months. Then it just fell off! Not sure why. I don't feel (much) guilt. I enjoyed many of those days. I can't deny 20 years of my life. And, definitely, you need to take some time off. For yourself. This road is great, but exhausting. Love you. SM x

  2. Awesome! Do it your long as you're happy, healthy and free, all is perfect! Hugs!
    I'm addicted to counting my days you said....remind me how far I've come and I don't want to got back to day 1 ever again....

  3. Love this post. Totally agree on all points. I'm so glad you're on the other side of your PAWS run.

    I love the dry-hopped Clausthaler and O'doule's Amber AF beers. They're yummy, thankfully not triggery for me, and do make it so much easier to blend in when I'm not in the mood for discussion. Day 76 and my in-laws still haven't noticed I'm not drinking. We've spent a week at the coast and 3 weekends at the lake with them!

    I'm starting to lose weight without making any other changes, so I'm hoping that means my metabolism is finally trusting that I'll continue to act right.

    Raising my AF beer to you with wishes for a beautiful weekend!

    xo, Wendy

  4. Raising my AF beer back to you all! xxx

  5. Great post WB. I can so relate. At the end of the day, we have to do what is right for us. There is no one size fits all here. Congrats on day 61, that's awesome! A x

  6. I love AF beers too, they help me past cravings and actually I'm even starting to quite like them as an evening treat! I'm looking forward to the sudden and miraculous weight loss - it hasn't happened yet!