Friday, 22 May 2015

Day 13 - When Fiction Imitates Life...

I have just finished reading "The Girl on the Train" by Paula Hawkins. Well, I not so much read it, as inhaled it in one sitting. First of all I love psychological thrillers and mysteries, and secondly, over the last two weeks or so, I have slowly got my reading mojo back (helps to fill the wine shaped void). Also, I found the description of how this lady fell into the alcohol sink hole and thrashed around there, in part as if the author had just documented my life.
If you read the book and wonder, the really bad parts don't apply, but I can totally relate to the black outs, lack of memory of conversation and entire evenings as well as all the phone calls and emails sent whilst under the influence.
My greatest relief in these last 13 mornings, is NOT to have to check my phone, my email and my face book page to check what stupid incoherent message I made public, because it must have seemed like a good idea in my wine stupor.
I still feel the cringing embarrassment and shame.
Sadly over the last few years I have managed to screw up perfectly good friendships, due to my Wine Alter Ego, that turned me into a mean, spiteful, obsessive and hurtful person.
The reason I chose the name "The Wine Bitch" is because I feel that this is who I became.
The hard part going forward (as well as ongoing sobriety) is facing up to some of the horrible things I've said and done, and somehow make amends.

Well, here's to being better ** raises glass of sparkling water and lime **.....have a great weekend xx


  1. I really want to read that book will put it on my list as working through a pile too at the minute. Have a good weekend.... Day 13 your doing fab xx

  2. Thank you! Reading has always transported me away from reality - in a healthy way - so books, and my kindle are a big part of my life at the moment.

  3. It is one of my favorite books this year. I also like you said inhaled it. Written so well. I fell in love with Rachel. She drove me crazy but then she also reminded me of those nights when other people were telling me what I've done and said while in my drunken stupor. Great story... great book.

  4. Loved that book, read it in a couple of sittings! Could so relate to your post today! I love not having that panicky feeling in the morning looking to see who and what I texted someone. Black out drunk is super scary for me. Not remembering anything, waking in the night and not remembering going to bed, did I fight with my hubby, daughter? I hated it. I want this sober life so much, why do I still want a drink?