Day 100. Simple.

Day 100 - A letter to myself of 101 days ago.

Dear Jackie,

You're feeling pretty low at the moment. Another day with a hangover. Another unproductive day. Another day despising yourself. You won't believe it right now, because you are too scared and tired, but life is about to change. In 100 days, life will be transformed.

• You will acknowledge that you are an Alcoholic. Dysfunctional Drinker. Drunk. Lush. It won't matter what label you use. You will have stopped comparing your drinking to those around you. You will stop telling yourself that 'So and so drinks so much more than me, I must be Ok". You're not. Once you start you can't stop. When was the last time you had just one glass of wine? Never. You have no "Stop Button". But you do have a "Don't Start" button. And over the next 100 days, you will be amazed at how effective that button is. Simple.

• You're worried about all those social occasions, where the wine flows freely. What will people say when you refuse wine? What will you say? Will they think you are boring? Will they think you have a problem? News Alert Princess! You do have a problem. Firstly, your health, your work, your whole life is way more important than what a few people think. And here's the thing...you're not that special!!Over the next 100 days, you'll go out as normal, you'll even go camping. And you know what? No one will care if you drink wine or not. Oh, you may have to tell a couple of white lies "Oh, I've given up because I get terrible heartburn", so what? . You'll have a fun time, you will chat and laugh as usual.....and you will drive home and remember it all in the morning! Simple!

•  You'll still going to be in debt in 100 days. The Debt, like all of life's other problems won't magically disappear. But for starters, the $15 per day that you spent on wine will have stopped. So that's $1500 right there. And because you are not wallowing in self-pity and Merlot, you'll remember to transfer money at the right time, and the cash haemorrhage due to NSF charges, and late payment charges will stop. Your business won't have taken off quite yet, but you will be gaining traction, and the quality of your work will have improved. You'll start to feel quite proud of what you do. Simple.

• You''ll stop beating yourself up about all the fuck-ups you made in the past. All those drunken evenings getting worked up about that toxic relationship, those stupid business mistakes, and the drunken rants on facebook? Waking up at 3 am, dehydrated and guilt-ridden, checking your phone, email and social media, to see what you said this time? That will stop. You'll forgive yourself. You'll move on.Simple.

• Sorry to disappoint you, but that 30lbs in excess weight that you're carrying? It won't disappear. You've abused your body for over a decade, did you think it would be fixed in 100 days? Get Real. But your skin will be clearer than it's ever been. You'll be sleeping.....yes real refreshing sleep. You will enjoy food. You won't be stressing about one fucking piece of cake, even though you are putting 4200 extra wine calories in your body every fricking week! How crazy is that! Towards the end of the 100 days, you will start to hear what your body is telling you. That it needs a glass of water. Or "tonight I'd like some fresh leafy greens" and because you won't be drowning out that voice with alcohol - you'll actually listen and act. Your body will thank you by becoming less puffy, and finally the scales will start to move in the right direction. Simple.

• You will re-connect with a friend. You're feeling all hurt and annoyed right now. But she was the only one who knew. The only one who called you on your bullshit. She probably saved your life. So you'll finally stop being a whiny princess, and you'll have tea with her. It will be nice. She waited for you to get over yourself. Thank her. It's Simple.

• You will start to make a difference. You will write a blog and by Day 100, nearly 10,000 people every month will look at it. Some will leave comments. They will be inspirational and supportive. This blog, and all the other bloggers will keep you going, with words of wisdom, their own beautiful, uplifting stories. You will make new friends. It will be a quiet revolution, and you will be part of it. Remember that you used to want to change the world? Leave your mark? You will. You just didn't know how. Now you do. Simple.

• You'll stop looking at your husband and wondering if he regrets marrying you. He's always been supportive and loyal. Now you'll be making him proud. Simple.

 Lastly, Jackie, you will start to like yourself a bit. Oh, you'll still fuck up on occasion, say the wrong thing, make the wrong decision. Be all hot-headed and swear too much. You'll still procrastinate (can't blame it all on the vino - sorry!), and you won't be perfect. But life will be less stressful and complicated. Guilt will no longer be your default emotion.

Simply by putting down the bottle

Love Jackie.
xx

P.S. ( 2019) This day - Day 100- was the real beginning for me. Four years on and I'm loving my Sober Life. If you would like some support for your first 100 Days, I and the wonderful ladies in my group would love to help you. Check out the program details here.