Tuesday, 4 August 2015

Beer & Wine Store

I went into a Beer & Wine store today. ( UK & US friends, here in Canada, you can't buy alcohol in a supermarket or grocery store, there are designated stores with licences for that).

I did it without thinking. I purchased a six pack of beer for the guys who are working on a boat which is sat in my driveway (hopefully, for not much longer).

I paid for the beer and left.

It wasn't until I was out of the store and driving home, that I realised I hadn't even checked out the wine section. I just got what I wanted, paid for it and left. Like a "normal" person on a "normal" shopping errand.

Buying wine used to be a stressful experience. Driving home I would negotiate with myself -

"You don't need wine, you had wine last night"
"But today was stressful"
"Just have a cup of tea tonight"
"But we're having halibut, it's so much nicer with white wine"
"If you don't have wine tonight, you can have wine tomorrow"
"But I want it now!"

And so on.

Then I would get self conscious about the store I was buying from. I always tried not to buy wine from  the same store two days in a row because I imagined that the check-out people were judging me.

So I would change my route home accordingly.

Then, once inside the store, I would have another dilemma - one bottle or two?

If I bought just one, then I might have to share. So I usually bought two.

Towards the end of my slide, it was easy to buy two, because I switched to white wine. My husband doesn't drink white wine, so I would buy red for him. And then it was win-win, because I could drink the whole bottle of white, and then finish the red because there was no way my husband would ever drink the whole bottle.

Sometime I would make a feeble attempt at conversation with the check-out person-
 "This is a new one - is it popular?"

As if I was some kind of wine journalist doing research.

The whole experience used to make me feel anxious and guilty.

Then I would do the daily dance with my husband....

Husband :"You bought wine?"
Me "Yes, it's been a long day" - defensively, waiting for a negative comment......

I didn't notice until today, this one more piece of stress that has been eliminated from my life.

I guess it's like banging your head against a wall - it's nice when it stops!


  1. Wine Management 101! One class I am happy to have dropped:)
    I was not aware all your alcohol was housed separately, in Oregon you can buy beer and wine at the supermarket but spirits are only available at the state-run liquor stores. Interesting!

  2. Here in Australia we can't buy alcohol in the supermarket either. They have a separate section either attached or next door. But it's not much different. I used to think I was the only one with that internal dialogue. I was amazed when I found out there were others like me! A x

  3. Me too! That's why I love the bubble hour, and meeting other sober women. They ALL DO THE SAME THINGS.

    My inner dialogue always ended with f it. You know you are going to drink tomorrow, on the weekend, etc. you might as well drink now too.

    And I would give in. And I couldn't understand how my willpower, that helped me starve, exercise, succeed, etc failed me.

    That was when I knew I had a problem. I couldn't even keep my word to myself.

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