I went into a Beer & Wine store today. ( UK & US friends, here in Canada, you can't buy alcohol in a supermarket or grocery store, there are designated stores with licences for that).
I did it without thinking. I purchased a six pack of beer for the guys who are working on a boat which is sat in my driveway (hopefully, for not much longer).
I paid for the beer and left.
It wasn't until I was out of the store and driving home, that I realised I hadn't even checked out the wine section. I just got what I wanted, paid for it and left. Like a "normal" person on a "normal" shopping errand.
Buying wine used to be a stressful experience. Driving home I would negotiate with myself -
"You don't need wine, you had wine last night"
"But today was stressful"
"Just have a cup of tea tonight"
"But we're having halibut, it's so much nicer with white wine"
"If you don't have wine tonight, you can have wine tomorrow"
"But I want it now!"
And so on.
Then I would get self conscious about the store I was buying from. I always tried not to buy wine from the same store two days in a row because I imagined that the check-out people were judging me.
So I would change my route home accordingly.
Then, once inside the store, I would have another dilemma - one bottle or two?
If I bought just one, then I might have to share. So I usually bought two.
Towards the end of my slide, it was easy to buy two, because I switched to white wine. My husband doesn't drink white wine, so I would buy red for him. And then it was win-win, because I could drink the whole bottle of white, and then finish the red because there was no way my husband would ever drink the whole bottle.
Sometime I would make a feeble attempt at conversation with the check-out person-
"This is a new one - is it popular?"
As if I was some kind of wine journalist doing research.
The whole experience used to make me feel anxious and guilty.
Then I would do the daily dance with my husband....
Husband :"You bought wine?"
Me "Yes, it's been a long day" - defensively, waiting for a negative comment......
I didn't notice until today, this one more piece of stress that has been eliminated from my life.
I guess it's like banging your head against a wall - it's nice when it stops!