Monday, 1 June 2015

Day 23 Life Without Drama

I've noticed that there is a lot less "drama" in my life at the moment. By "drama" I mean those day to day little incidents that get blown out of proportion, gossiped about, stressed about, and involve hours of "putting the world to rights" or boozy tantrums. And that was just me.
Is there any less stress in my life? Absolutely not. We are still struggling with our businesses, we still have people in our lives that are unsupportive, there are still family situations that need to be resolved.
The difference is that I am dealing with the stuff that I can resolve, and avoiding the stuff that it not mine to resolve. I am not giving my drunken opinion, I am not phoning random people to complain, in short....I have stopped being a "total pain in the rear end Drama Queen".
A few years ago, after a difficult relationship break - up, and the start of another tumultuous relationship that turned decidedly toxic (all which coincided with the start of really heavy wine drinking), I met a lady who latched on to me like a barnacle.
She was married (albeit unhappily), and a set of family circumstances that sounded to me like a particularly bad episode of 'Dallas". Every day would bring a new 'crisis".
We became drinking buddies.
It was the first time I had a glimpse into my future.
Every day the phone would ring in the morning..."Could you take my daughter to school? I don't feel well"...."Come over for lunch"......."I'm coming over, I have wine...."....." I've had a terrible day (sob)...just come and bring wine..."
I couldn't get rid of her.
Finally, circumstances changed, I moved out of the area, my phone number changed....and although I felt badly at the time, we just lost touch, and I have never made the effort to rekindle that "friendship".
Today, as I look back, I suspect that I was the self absorbed, selfish barnacle that people were hoping to scrape off.
Looking forward, I hope to be a better friend.


  1. To be honest, I don't need any more drama in life. I don't think it is selfish. I don't think I am a bad friend. In fact, I think that those who constantly are feeding off our emotional support are selfish and self-absorbed. I am very careful now whom I let into my life. Especially when I am trying to stay sober.

    1. I think everyone who is walking the same path as us will agree with with you.x

  2. I'm sure I create much of the drama that used to fuel my life. Drama always provided an excuse to drink, good or bad.

    I let go of many drinking buddies. It's almost impossible to find common ground if one of you quit. It makes everything uncomfortable. And from the sober side it's not pretty.

  3. Drama, just like booze, is another vice that deflects our attention from the real problems in our life. I have never tolerated barnacles very well, even when I was drinking, but I did lose my best friend when I quit drinking. She was my drinking buddy, that person that could always be counted on to tell me that I wasn't "that bad". And I could look at her and tell myself I wasn't that bad. We still love each other and I worry about her, but we had to move onto people that sustain us in what we are pursuing. Unfortunately, I think her pursuit is to drink herself to death and my pursuit is to finally really live.